Picture Perfect and Caption Complex
by Heart's Replacement
Summary: It was never easy for someone to find another after losing the most perfect person. But it is never too late to redeem ourselves to love other people better and more sincere. Rei is having trouble moving on after waking up from the curse, while Kei immediately searches for Rei to carry on Yuu's last will. Which is to take care of Rei. Rated T for suggestive adult themes.
1. Wake Up Call

For the first time in years, I had finally came up with an idea to make a new fanficition. This was inspired by one of the best horror games I played, Fatal Frame 3. So this one sets after Kei, Rei and Miku survived and woke up from the dream they have. But it actually focused more on Rei and Kei's relationship.

I love seeing Kei and Rei together..

My writing skills are getting rusty, so please be kind. I am not as good as I used to.

* * *

_" When you " die, then I'll be gone forever. As long as you go on living, a part of me will continue to live on._

_That's why.. I need you to live. "_

Those words echoed in my ears and still lingered the moment I opened my eyes. The light from the morning sun burst through the window of my room, breaking every inch of darkness and enlightened every corner. The chair was at it's rightful place, in front of the desk, untouched. As I slowly rose from my almost eternal slumber, I stared at the window, and glanced at my left arm.

Never I understood why I braced myself to feel the pain and see the bruise. Maybe it was because I was so used to it, but then again, I was relieved. The tattoos are gone. There's no more pain left, only a deep sadness and emotional breakdown as I remembered what happened in my last dream. Yuu took my pain away as he had always did for me, and this time it was permanent. I loved Yuu with all my heart, but I never told him how much I loved him. But I know he knew. That was why he never wanted me to go with him. Because it was enough. Like the gentle rain, he drifts away taking fear and sorrow along with him. He's gone forever.. but he will always be etched into my heart.

Like tattoos.

I stood up and walked with such haste that I almost stumbled in front of my bedroom door and without glancing at the living room downstairs, I made my way towards Miku's room. I twisted the knob of the door, and pushed it away. I didn't care at that time. I just wanted to see Miku.

" Rei ? " Rei... " Miku was still in her bed, her eyes wide open. She puts her arms around her, as if she was about to be taken away but when she realized my presence, she burst out in tears. I didn't hesitate, and ran towards her. I put my arms around her small body and cried even more. " It's okay Miku... it's over.. we'll be alright. " I sobbed, and like a crying child, I hugged her even thightly.

" I was so scared, Rei .. I thought I was done for. I did try to escape and forget everything... forgive myself... I'm so scared... " Miku reciprocates and our embrace grew even tighter. As I brushed her hair with my right hand, I said to her.. " Miku .. I was scared too... but it's okay.. it's over now.. we don't have to go through them anymore.. " my voice stabilized. It was not easy to escape from the nightmare we had. When I thought we had lost our hopes to live, and giving ourselves to our loved ones seems to be the best choice, Kei helped us to think it through and told me to not give up yet.

I gasped and had a sudden realization. " Kei! ".

Miku's bedroom door was opened and a man barged in. Miku and I was startled and turned our heads towards the door to see who's there. The man was breathing heavily as if he had just sprinted. Which I think he really did, and judging from the expression on his face to see us in front of his eyes, alive and unshadowy like, he gave out a faint smile. A smile of an unexplained relief. I could almost see the tears on his bottom eyelids, but as soon as he approaches us, I raised from Miku's bed and put my arms around him just like I did to Miku.

Withput muttering any word, he puts his arms around me gently. At a brief moment, I could feel Yuu's presence when I pressed my forehead against his chest, but then when I looked up, I stared into his well-refined eyes. He smiled at me and said. " Rei.. you did it. You saved us all... You awakened us from the dream. " I couldn't respond to what he said. I was too dazed by his almost angelic smile, remnided me of Yuu. When I realized that my arms were still on his chest, I stepped back and apologized for being rude. I looked down, trying not to make an eye contact because I was embarassed of what just happened. Then when I had finally regained my calmness, I stared into his eyes and kindly said. " No, it was us. It was our choice to survive. We did it. "

After that short reunion which was after a week, we finally settled down and talked about how I solved to wake myself and others. It was unbelievable, to tell the story where only three of us understood. Kei told us that Mio woke up the same day as we all did, but is still afraid to close her eyes again. Kei tried to help her overcome her fear and accept the fact that it's not her fault. We even managed to console each other and made a visit to Yuu's grave where Kei had finally said his goodbye. That day was the day I will never forget. I was sure that Miku and Kei didn't want to forget the day we survived and woke up from the dream which terrorized us for almost weeks. I insisted in visiting Yuu's grave because I don't want to waste another second not thanking him and letting him go.

On the way to the car, Miku went first to get the car while Kei and I stayed to give Yuu one final prayer.

" I will never forget your gentleness and kindness. I will always love you, and will never forget you. I promised that I will stay alive as long as I can to make sure that you also live within me... Yuu.. until we meet again. Next time, maybe for eternity.. "

I whispered. Kei stood behind me, keeping silent. He bowed and then he turned his back on me. I could see his gesture from the corner of my eye. I turned around, and made an eye contact with him, giving signal that I have finished. He nodded a little and beckoned me to leave the area.

" He was a very nice guy, Yuu, he was my best friend. He helped me to find every way to save Mio when he found out about her. I just couldn't believe that he left us while I'm being too busy saving Mio.. but it must have been harder for you, huh? .. " he said, walking alongside me towards the road where we will wait for Miku. I just nodded, as a sign of agreeing to what he stated. I feared that if I started talking about Yuu, I would get all emotional. It wasn't really fine with me crying in front of other people because being fragile is my weakness. I kept staring at his flawless face, his hair was blown gently by the wind, eyes focused to what lies in front of him. When I realized I was being rude to stare at other people, I looked down, kept searching for something to lock my eyes on.

" Yuu once told me that he had a fiancee.. I didn't know that his fiancee turned out to be beautiful.. " I glanced at him after hearing those words. I looked at him, surprised, and my eyes were immediately locked onto his. He looked at me with an expression which I have always seen in Yuu's. Gentle but mesmerized. But Kei had a sudden awareness of what he just said and then added..

" Uhm.. I mean, he told me.. that you are pretty. He said that he couldn't imagine having anybody else as his wife than you. Not just because you're beautiful.. it's because of your strength and will to not give up. He always said that even though you are a quiet type, he never minds. He always finds it beautiful to have a talented person work in such humility " I kept staring at him, and I was certain that he was trying to avoid my stare. I was hoping for the same thing, because it would be awkward. I never heard Yuu's opinions from the third party. Never really understood why Yuu never told me what he thought about me.

Beautiful? I never considered myself as beautiful. When I met Yuu, I thought he was the most beautiful person I have ever met. Yuu..

" So.. what now? " Kei suddenly spoke after a few seconds of awkward silence.

" What do you mean? " I asked, honestly confused of what he tried to say. I turned to him, and realized that he was looking at me the whole time I've been thinking and looking down. He stopped walking and I automatically stopped too.

" I mean.. what's your plan? Are you still working as a freelance photographer? " Oh.. I thought he was going to say something else. " I don't know yet.. Why do you ask? " Kei replied. " I was wondering if I could bring Mio to your house tomorrow. So you guys could meet? It will be a wake up call for her, and I wanted to introduce you to her. Probably she is wondering how she survived the whole thing too. But I am still anxious if she could forget the whole thing. "

" I'm fine with that. I would like to meet her in person. I am sure Miku is fine with that too. " I smiled faintly to him. It's weird. I forgot how to smile after Yuu died.. I felt guilty that if I had the urge to feel happy, it would be unfair to Yuu. But Kei.. Kei was definitely something else.

Was it really okay if Kei just made me smile or feel happy? Kei gave a genuine smile in return and then I went into the car just as soon as Miku arrived.

We just got back from the cemetery where Yuu was buried. Kei drove the other way to the route leading him to his hometown. I still remember what he said before he left. " I know Yuu wouldn't want you to suffer. It may take a while to heal.. but I just want you to know that I'll be there for you when you are completely healed.. and I want to help as a friend to get you through this. " It was right before we went our separate ways.

I was surprised that he thought about being a friend to help me get over the feeling of sadness and loss of my loved one. But what did he mean by being there for me when I'm completely healed? I wondered to myself as I turned the pages of my notebook to revise what I have researched. I kept a photo of Kei that Miku found when she was browsing through the albums in my notebook. Even before I met Kei, I thought of him as a handsome man. From what I can conclude, he is humble and down to earth. Very focused to what he does and his determination in making as many researches as he can.

" Kei's a really nice guy.. isn't he? " I was shocked, Miku spoke after a while. She had always been the first to initiate conversation between us especially regarding something to do with personal opinion. It was the first time any of us to be talking about something normal other than paranormal activities. For the first time after having those dreams, we finally had something else or may I say normal to talk about.

" Yeah.. he is.. he helped a lot. " I put down my notebook and turned on the television. I had an instinct that Miku was going to bring that up. Although she didn't say it out loud, I knew that she had been eyeing Kei ever since she saw Kei for the first time. It occured to me that she might have a crush on Kei.

I mean.. what's not to like about him? He's handsome, has a very deep and genuine pair of eyes. When he smiled, I had to admit. I could feel myself melting inside... wait. What am I thinking? He just have a sweet smile, that's all.

" It's really sweet of him though.. to go all the way to our house just to get us by. But frankly.. I think he wouldn't have done this if it wasn't for you. " she let out a small giggle. She glanced at me and continued. " Don't you think that he has a feeling for you, Rei? "

" What are you talking about Miku? He did that to save his niece, Mio.. and I really think that we need to work together to do that.. That's why he came to our house. Especially knowing that you wouldn't wake up... " I carefully arranged my words to keep Miku quiet for a while. How could she think like that knowing that I still miss Yuu and there I was, thinking that she was the one who has a crush on him.

" Even so.. he could have done that all by himself, you know? Rei.. I think he likes you. He just don't want to rush things because it would be disrespectful to you and Yuu.. Don't you think so? At least that is what I think.. besides.. I could see the way he looks at you.. full of attention and honesty. How sweet! " Miku giggled and I was really embarassed that Miku had that kind of idea. But still.. I was relieved her seeing her being her usual self again. The cheerful Miku I know. It only took weeks after that incident for us to move on and lead our normal lives again.

" You just had a silly idea... But that reminds me though. He's coming over tomorrow. " I intently changed the channel on the television. It was changing from a romance movie to the daily news. Not that I was interested.

" Kei? Why? Is he taking you out on a date? " Miku teased. I blushed and tried to look away.

" NO! Miku! He's bringing Mio over.. " Miku replied. " Oh I see.. well, I guess we should prepare for tomorrow.. they're not coming here just to have dinner, are they? " " No.. Kei said that he was wondering if he could sleepover. Besides.. he used to spend the night here.. I guess it should be fine. Mio can sleep with you.. if that's okay.. " I suggested to Miku.

" Really? That's great! I'm okay with it.. " Miku answered with a sweet smile. She has always been helpful to everyone.

" Okay.. I'm gonna go upstairs.. I need to work on something. " I raised from the sofa and walked towards the stairs when suddenly Miku said.

" It's okay to love again, Rei.. I'm sure that Yuu would want you to do the same. "

What did Miku suggest me to do? If she told me to love, who did she really mean? Is it really okay for me to love again.. when I still need to forgive myself completely and time to heal?

I guess I need to find out if truly ready to forgive and live with the unforgettable pain.


	2. The Visit

This is the second chapter and although I don't really have anybody reading this, I gotta finish what I started even if it only takes a few chapters. :)

This chapter is from Kei's point of view. It was before Mio and him went to Rei's house to introduce Mio to Rei and Miku.

* * *

I woke up to a screeching cry of a young woman who sounded like a child. It was unpleasant and even though it has been going on for almost three weeks now, I can't help but ignoring the thought of sending her away to my brother-in-law's. It was more displeasing to send her to his house knowing that he was an alcoholic. I took her under my care and I was devoted to take care of her needs and help her overcoming her fear and making her accept God's will.

I rose from my bed, and I was on my bare feet, walking my way to my niece's room. I knocked onto her door and called out her name, in a calm voice. Her cries ceased. Maybe she had calmed down. " Mio.. open the door. " I beckoned. I heard the sound of footsteps coming towards her bedroom door. The door opened and revealed a slightly thin and pale teenager whose height was shorter than mine. She stood, her eyes are a bit swollen from crying all night. Her eyes searched for mine and I couldn't help but asking her the same question almost every day. " You didn't sleep well again, huh? You know this needs to come to a stop. " I said a slightly and unusually strict voice.

Mio looked away avoiding to look into my eyes forcing me to put my hands on her forearm and speak in the most soothing voice. " I can't bear to see you being sad. I don't want to lose you ever again, you know that right? Mio.. please.. stop thinking negatively. You are a survivor.. What happened to Mayu was of her own choice.. " Before I could finish my sentence, Mio pushed my hands away. " No.. you weren't there when she died. Even after seeing her in my dreams I couldn't help but feeling guilty. I wanted to follow her.. There's nothing more for me here. " after those words were spoken, she broke down in tears. She sobbed and she fell onto her knees.

I knelt down to console her. Those cliche' words of ' everything's gonna be alright ' did not work on her anymore. So instead of making another attempt, I just put my arms around her and stroke her hair. She held onto me and cried on my chest and then her tears began to subside. I could hear her muttering words like " I can't go on living like this anymore.. I want to go with her, Kei.. I want to go with her.. "

I kept silent, not knowing what to say. I never blamed her for the disappearance of her other twin. She had always blame herself for everything happened to Mayu. But I know in my heart than Mayu forgave her every mistake. I know that she wouldn't want Mio to keep living in sorrow and pain. Besides, there is nothing we can do if we have lost our loved ones. Just let them go and let them rest in peace. Imo should know that she's not the only survivor of the nightmares we have. As I held even tighter than before, I began to think ways in helping her to go on living and maybe introducing her to other people who have lost someone special in their lives like her could change the ways she sees life. Both of us lean onto each other, filling the gap of the spaces between the walls of the corridor which connects our rooms.

It was a five hours journey to Rei Kurosawa's house. The last time I was there was to find a solution to get us out of the dreams we have. I stayed there for almost three days. I never planned to stay there longer but because of my failed attempts in ending the nightmare and fell into a deep sleep, stuck in an endless inception of dreams, I was forced to extend several days. I never visited the house before Although my late best friend lived there with her. That was why I never did meet Rei in person. I only saw her when Yuu took something from his wallet because that was where he put her picture. I had to say that she was happy being with Yuu because that was the only time I have ever seen her smile. In that picture. I wonder if I can see her smile when we meet again. But during our visit at Yuu's grave, I thought I saw her smiling when I told her what Yuu used to say to me about her, but it was just a faint smile. As if smiling was too hard for her to do. I kept on thinking about her these few days after meeting her for the first time. How deeply hurt and sad she was to lose someone she loves the most. All I could think about at that time was to get her out of what has been troubling her in hopes that she would forget and move on with her life.

All I wanted to do was to rescue her from that tragic nightmare. So I could see her again when we got out. But instead she was the one who rescued me. But I never knew how she did all that or what happened to her during the progress because after we woke up, we never wanted to even say a word on that particular subject because I know that it was personal. It was more reassuring to live on without looking back but I know that neither of us forgets. That night when I fell into a deep slumber, I thought that I have lost my chance in saving Mio, and never wake up again. I may have failed to pull Mio out. But there was another thing that I feared of not being able to do. To see her alive and managed to save herself from that terrifying dream.

Her beautiful eyes suddenly crossed my mind. That short hair of hers and the way she blushed and that faint smile begin to take turns in my train of thoughts. These thoughts were uncommon for me and I often find myself thinking of the moment she leaned her head onto my shoulder. As if I wanted to relive that moment again because as embarrassing as I know it is, I find myself gawking and grinning to myself whenever I thought of that. It was truly inevitable, but who could forget the fragrance coming from her hair. And the way she speaks. Her voice was like a motivation for me to fight for her. Suddenly at that time, Mio wasn't the only concern I have. Rei had also became one of my ambition at that moment.

Realizing that now, maybe it was just an excuse bringing Mio along. Maybe I just wanted to see that woman. It was inevitable. I grinned every once in a while after noticing a familiar road which gets me closer to Rei's whereabouts when Mio glanced at me and spoke for the first time since we left our house. " You seem excited, Kei.. you looked happy.. ". I found myself chuckling and finding excuses as to why I'm spacing out and grinning. " No, I was just relieved.. we have finally arrived.. Besides, I was hoping that our stay at their house would help you.. you know.. " , again after my long and what seemed to be lacking of truth statement, Mio spoke before I could finish. " It's okay, Kei. I've put you in so much trouble. That was why I'm happy to see you smile." she smiled sweetly and genuinely.

I smiled back to her and said nothing. It was true though. I kept myself focused on saving Mio, that I left my work and friends to finish what I have started. But thanks to Mio, I came across the amazing woman who stole the heart of my best friend and probably stole my heart as well.

Rei Kurosawa.


	3. Uncertainty

Hi guys.. I'm back with another chapter for this fanfic.. I never went this far in making a fanfic before.. maybe it's because I have good ideas to continue the story but mostly because I have nothing to do since I just recently unemployed so..

To those who have kept up with this fanfic of mine, thanks so much! It's really nice to have people reading my work piece even if it's not as good as anyone else's.

Anyway, I made Mio live with Kei because I decided to make Mio's dad an alcoholic and has troubles on his own. Especially knowing that his wife and eldest daughter went spirited away, most likely to be dead, only leaving Mio by his side. I am not very sure whether to make him available but let's not think about it now.

This chapter returns to Rei's point of view again. So, this chapter had a little bit romantic scene going on so bear with me.. I got really rusty with such scenes. Haha.. Well... here you go..

* * *

I stared into my closet, searching for appropriate clothes to wear for the day. I reached in and took out a blue cardigan which used to be one of my favourites and a black tank top to wear underneath as my other hand clutched tightly onto my towel, fearing that it might drop although there's nobody in my room to see me nude. Even when Yuu was around after waking up from the unforgettable nights that we shared together, I'd hold onto the towel, not wanting to show any lumps of my body. It was still inappropriate to walk around in your room naked even after your other half have seen you without a single thread on. I still respected Yuu's needs.

I smiled as I remembered that Yuu would often tease me by simply staring from the bed, only wearing his shorts, at me and my effort of trying to avoid his stare whilst searching for clothes to wear. He would smile so devilishly, and only I know how cheeky he can be. His calmness and his gentleness may have clouded his naughty and romantic side and I strongly believed that Yuu only showed that side to me. When Yuu stared at me with his deep eyes and bit his lips once in awhile, I couldn't help but ignoring his cheeky thoughts. If I were to counter his gaze and stared into his eyes for a very long time, I would lose dramatically and end up having my heart to race and probably we would continue what we have left off doing the previous night.

I would blush so heavily that I could feel the warm blood filling up my face, and clumsily chose the wrong set of clothes. Yuu would giggle and spoke in his most soothing voice ever, " You're so cute when you're embarassed, Rei.. " and he would rose from the bed, to approach me and hug me from the back regardless the condition that I'm in. I would drown in his arms and let him kiss my shoulder, my neck and my cheek thus continued to be in that position for awhile. I would hold his arm which was placed neatly around me and placed my lips on his porcelain skin gently, inhaling all the sweet scent emerging from his body, perhaps shared a kiss or two, hoping that that particular moment would last forever.

But it didn't. I gasped and realized that my hands was pressed against my chest where that arm used to be. With arms crossed, I turned around and saw nobody there. I glanced at the bed which has been neatly made, and only the gentle light from the sun occupying the surface of it. Even after all these nightmares and dreams I had, it wasn't enough for me to just send the wandering souls to where they should be or resting the priestess and her lover to peace or saying my last farewell to Yuu, hoping that all that would erase all of these pieces of memories like I'm shattering a mirror.

Even mirrors have to be shattered completely into billions of pieces and it's not certain that it would be destroyed completely.

From that moment, I realized that I wasn't completely ready. But it's fine. I don't have any pressure to slowly move on from this. It takes time and there's no reason for me to feel tensed because I know that I was still nobody's possession. I wasn't currently tied to any commitment to anyone. So why should I be feeling anxious? As if I already have someone waiting for me.

I buttoned my cardigan, realizing that it exposed my cleavage a little. I walked towards the door and closed the door behind me, looking down at Miku who was cleaning the living room diligently. Miku had always have the habit of cleaning whenever there are guests coming. I thought that the house was already clean and tidy enough for welcoming guests. She had her apron on, and tied her hair with a barrete which I gave her on her 19th birthday. As I climbed down the stairs, she still hadn't noticed my presence.

When she had finished vacuuming the last corner of the room, she switched off the vacuum and turned around, gasping after she saw me. She was shocked and then said " Rei! You scared me! I thought you were still sleeping,.. ", she removed the apron and placed it on the sofa. " I'm sorry I surprised you.. and thanks for cleaning, you made me feel quilty now that I woke up late.. " I replied, and was being honest of the guilt I felt. It was my house after all, but my housemate did all the work as if this house was hers. I wished I was as diligent as her. I actually swept the front hall and corridor and mopped them last night but didn't even think of cleaning the living room as well. Miku shooked her head, looking at me with her pair of innocent eyes, and said " Oh no, don't be, Rei! You know me.. I can't bear to just do nothing when we are expecting guests! Besides, you have already done your part.. All I did was vacuuming... ", she giggled.

" So when will Kei and his niece arrived? " The same question popped into my head, which Miku had first initiated. I shrugged and then gave an uncertain answer. " I'm not sure, they should be arriving soon. " I glanced at the clock and then back to Miku. Miku excused herself to clean her room as she hadn't tidy it up for Mio's arrival. I was left alone in the living room, with Ruri, Miku's loyal yet lazy cat on the sofa. I tucked Ruri's head and began to wonder. Where could Kei be right now? Has he forgotten the way? Should I give him a call, asking if he's okay?

All these thoughts kept making their turns as I anxiously waited for the bell to ring. I didn't know why I felt so nervous. I took out the notebook which I had always bring with me, and made a few scribbles on the notebook, under Kei Amakura's section.

' He should be arriving soon. I wonder if he's okay... '

Suddenly, I snapped. Since when my notebook became a diary? I closed the notebook, and put it away where nobody can see. It was kind of foolish to let myself acting like a teenager gagging on about her first crush. Scribbling down words, and thoughts about that particular person.

I tried to chase away those thoughts and made ways for positive elements. Maybe he was caught in traffic, because if he was lost, he might give me a call. So with these new developed thoughts occupying my mind, I turned on the television and skipped through the channels, because I was at a point where nothing interests me anymore. Suddenly, the house bell rang. My heart skipped a beat unexpectedly. As if my instincts indicated that I was right of thinking that they should be arriving sooner.

I walked towards the entrance and found Kei and a very slim and fair-skinned girl aged between 15-17 standing behind was wearing a white cardigan which was buttoned up but stopped just above her chest and a black short skirt which fell above her knees. I approached Kei and it was unexpectedly awkward. I didn't know whether I should shake his hand or hug him in front of his niece. Instead I just stood there in front of him, beckoning him to come inside. I didn't even say anything. It was really uncomfortable. Without further ado, they followed me. Kei was bringing a small luggage, and his niece was carrying a small backpack but didn't leave the impression of heavy. After she placed her backpack against the wall of the living room, she excused herself to go back to the car to grab something leaving only Kei and I in front of the door which leads to the entrance. I kept on stroking the fringe that I have, a habit which went on when I was feeling nervous or uncertain.

" It's good to see you again, Rei. " Finally Kei spoke out of the blue. I turned around and noticed that he was wearing a gray collared short sleeved shirt, with a black trousers which fitted him perfectly. His eyes which was black as charcoal, reflected the light which came from the sliding door leading to the courtyard. His hair was parted to the right like it was always done. I merely took the chance to observe his appearance is in one brief moment then I replied to his greetings" Yes, likewise.. I'm glad to see you again. I'm sorry for earlier.. I should have welcomed you properly.. I'm glad you arrived here safely. Did you get any trouble finding the way? " , I asked full of concern. He shooked his head and smiled. " No, not at all. I remembered the route to your house very clearly.. By the way, where's Miku? ".

I gave a light clap, snapping to Kei's question and answered. " Oh yeah! I'll go get her, she's upstairs. Please make yourself at home.. Don't be shy. " I spoke while making my way to the stairs. As I reached Miku's room, I knocked and announced of Kei and Mio's arrival. Afterwards, we went downstairs together ready to greet Kei's niece which experienced the same thing as the three of us did.

It was a brief introduction. Mio Amakura shook our hands shyly, introducing herself to us, and gave us a genuine smile. She was very pretty and had a short hair with bangs parted to the left. Although she was thin, and looked slightly pale, she had the kind of humility which shrouded in mystery. Her auburn eyes had vivid twinkles which I myself got intrigued because those eyes looked breathtakingly beautiful yet sad somehow. I reckoned that Mio was a silent type. Or probably it was our first time meeting her, so she could be slightly shy.

The four of us had tea together and trying to get to know Mio a little better. She had problems in communicating to us about her twin sister, Mayu, who vanished after their last summer together. I found her to look down and stare onto her hands which was placed on her thighs most of the time. Because it left a huge impact on her soul too much, she didn't even say anything regarding the dreams she had after Mayu's disappearance. Or anything related to Mayu. We decided maybe we had to give her time to take it all in and accept the truth. She didn't have to do this intervention right away. Maybe it just needed the right time and the right place for her to let it go.

Miku only kept silent most of the time not knowing what to say because she knew it was not as simple as telling someone that it will be okay. The aftermath of losing someone is you could not forget the memories you have with them or their last words. Kei, however, was the most concerned because his niece was suffering almost every night, breaking down most of the time. Sadness continued to become a part of Mio's everyday life and Kei kept saying that it was time to move on. I just sat there and was making attempts to try and convince Mio that we were all in this together but nothing came out of it. Mio continued staying silent as she was. After seeing this was getting nowhere, I took the chance to end this intervention and asked Miku to take Mio to her room leaving only Kei and I at the living room. It was almost nightfall anyway and almost time for dinner.

Mio followed her and turned at us to politely excuse herself and climbed her way towards Miku's bedroom. After hearing the door was closed, I glanced at Kei to observe his behaviour after the unsuccessful attempt to convince Mio. Kei leaned to the sofa, with his face in his right hand. His hand slowly moved down to his chin revealing his bangs and those deep black eyes. Looking down, he then changed his posture and hunched his back, his hands are holding each other with elbows rested on his thighs. His expression was blank, but from the look he gave after seeing Mio with her usual unconcsiousness, I could tell that he was frustrated. I rose from my seat, and sat next to him which was previously seated by Mio. I looked at him, trying to find words to comfort him when he suddenly spoke.

" I'm just blurred right now.. I'm completely out of ideas. I thought bringing her here would make her feel calmer, knowing that you guys used to be in the same place as hers. But all she did was keeping quiet... I just don't know what to do.. " he hid his face with his hands. I realized it was tougher for him to get through this because he sacrificed a lot to save Mio. I was certain that Mio acknowledged the debt she owed Kei but she was still afraid to forget everything. She was still afraid to rest her eyes. I cheered Kei up, placing my hand on his shoulder and said. " It takes time, Kei.. she may not listen to you or to us now.. but someday she will be convinced. I just need you to be strong.. just don't give up yet.. there might still be some hope. "

After listening to the last sentence, Kei raised his left hand and placed it onto mine, the one that was placed on his shoulder. He turned his face against me, his eyes are locked onto mine. Even though he didn't say a word, I knew that he said thank you just by staring at me deeply. Those expression was deep, and was filled with determination and also appreciation. I countered his gaze, and at that moment, something fluttered in my heart. Something went deep into my very soul and occupied every corner of the emptiness. It was an unexplained feeling, as the warm blood filled my face. My heart began to pound so fast, that I feared it could bounce out of my chest. My head didn't move an inch. I froze, as if Kei charmed me with a spell. I could feel myself blushing and before I know it, Kei's face was only inches away from mine.

With his warm hand still holding mine, he leaned closely to me, his eyes staying still. My eyes searched from his eyes to his delicate lips. A few inches left, and our lips could meet. As I sat still, Kei leaned in closer and closer. I could feel his breath on my lips, as his lips were making their way to touch mine. Almost at the very end, there was not even a suggestion that this was inappropriate. Somehow it felt right.

" Rei! " , the sound of a twisting knob and a sudden familiar voice surprised us from above. We automatically transitted into awkward positions and sat upright like we were in a classroom led by a strict teacher, sitting away from each other as possible. I stood up and yelled. " Yes! What is it Miku? " I pretended that nothing happened between Kei and I although my heart was still beating fast. Miku responded, " I forgot to buy groceries again.. can I borrow your car for tonight? Or else we don't have anything to eat for dinner.. " I looked at her and said " Sure.. do whatever you want.. Uhm.. Kei, do you.. need anything? " I glanced at Kei who was sitting awkwardly, pretended to be watching the television. My eyes were trying to escape his gaze. He turned his head towards me.. " Oh! No.. I'm fine.. uhm.. I need to kiss... I mean! List down things.. from work.. can I borrow your toilet? " he immediately changed the subject after he blurted out the word " kiss ". I nodded, and then he emerged from his seat, and barged through the door. I could hear his footsteps walking along the corridor and shut the lavatory door which was located next to the storeroom.

Kiss? I was frantically shocked, and looked at Miku again who looked a bit surprised by Kei's sudden action and weird behaviours. She was at the corridor looking down at me. She murmured " Uhm.. okay.. I'll go see Mio if she needs anything. " she disappeared at ther bedroom door.

I was still standing at the living room. The room got dim as the ray of the setting sun barged through the sliding glass door. I frowned and recalled what just happened a few minutes earlier. My hand rested on my chest, feeling the beating heart. My other hand cupped my mouth, feeling unbalanced as I could feel a sudden flush spreading in my cheeks. It happened so quick, and I could feel my heart melt when he touched my hand. When our lips grew closer to each other, I felt so weak yet so mesmerized by the whole scenario. I was completely dazed.

What happened back then? Our lips did not meet, did they? What happened if they do_ meet_?  
What will happen if that day comes?  
The day which will have me settling my lips on another man's lips.  
The day I'd kiss _another man._  
The day I opened my heart.

If it does.. then.. Yuu.. will be completely gone.


	4. The Final Letter

**So another chapter for this fanfic. We are now reading it through Kei's point of view. I don't really know if anyone would write a story using this kind of **  
**technique. But I was challenging myself to do something different.**

**I seriously love to finish this fanfic as soon as I can. I just can't wait! :D But it still has more to it, so bear with me! **

* * *

I closed the lavatory door, leaning my tensed back against it. I was breathing heavily, trying to remember what just happened in the living room just then.

Our lips almost touched. I could feel the air coming from her mouth.. so magnetic. I couldn't maintain my best manner, dealing with one of the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life ( as cliche as it sounds ), I really struggled to keep away from her. I swore. I really did. But how could I ignore every detail of her flawless face, the barely visible mole which was next to her right eye. The perfectly carved lips which were not too thick or too plump. The pleasure of observing her expression whenever she felt nervous or embarassed. How could I counter that?

I felt really ashamed. '_List down things_' ? What the hell was I talking about? And to think that I actually blurted out the word, kiss? There's no way in  
hell that I could forget what could be the most embarassing moment in my life. Was I really demanding a kiss to the extent that I made a total fool of  
myself? I thought to myself, hands on my head, wanting to hit myself onto the wall, rectifying all the betrayal my brain had given me.

But strangely, that warm feeling that I felt when she touched my shoulder chased away all the burden. When I reached her hand, her soft skin could only result in wanting her touch even more. As a matter of fact, I may felt disturbed by my own self, attempting to think of her in that way. I remembered grasping her hand and held it even tighter when our eyes were against each other. Her eyes were dark brown completed with long set of eyelashes, possessing every perfect element of calmness and gentleness. I recalled looking into those eyes, feeling lighter and more relaxed. Somber, if you might ask.

I had never felt more light-headed.. The endless trials did not matter anymore. Her comforting words brought my spirits back again. All my frustrations  
decreased somehow. What kind of power did she have over me? To make me feel this excited, nervous and hungry for her comfort? The strength to overcoming every obstacle in regaining Mio's life again?

The overwhelming waves of unknown substance filling my stomach. Euphoric, light and alive.

I stepped in front of the mirror, staring into the eyes of a man whose determination was to write a book about the other world which resulted to be another failure. But that was 3 years ago, when I decided that it was not going anywhere. Now that I have a real story to tell, that ambition did not even cross my mind. The only thing which triggered my mind to function unpredictably was her. Other than Mio.

I washed my face with the cold water coming from the tap. It was really cold but bearable. I stepped outside of the toilet, eyes observing the tatami room which was located just in front of the toilet, next to the bathroom. I looked into the room, and saw a picture of someone familiar, placed in the middle of an altar filled with candles and offerings. Someone who could have been the groom of the first time I could have been the best man. The man who possessed the heart of the woman I still could not figure out. Yuu.

I bowed as a sign of greeting. Personally, I felt uneasy doing this after the moment I nearly kissed his fiance but was interrupted by Miku. But Yuu was not the type of person who would just go yelling or screaming if anything bothered him or made him feel angry. He was very calm and despite his anger, he would just walk out of the room and went somewhere that could calm his heart. I wondered what made him so calm, very different from the other people that I have encountered.

Probably that was what attracted Rei towards him in the first place. His name really suited his unique ability to contain his anger. 'Gentle rain'.  
He was definitely someone I was not. I was the angry boy, the stubborn and the foolish to think that my place in the world was high enough to conquer the world of journalism. I was the geek, spending hours after hours in a library or my room trying to arrange something to become my first ever masterpiece. I used to wear glasses and was very ignorant to other people. Until the day I met Yuu. Even though Yuu was 3 years younger than me, he was more intelligent and collected. Composed is his middle name, as he used to help me gather information to help me with my work. Afterwards he offered to help me to cure Mio and promised that he would help me in anyway I can.. and before I could even ask of what I could give away in return, he left us.

I know I could never be like Yuu. I smirked to the idea and left the room where Yuu's altar was. I opened the door leading to the living room and noticed that Rei was no longer there. Outside had turned dark. I was unaware of how long I stayed in the toilet. A few minutes maybe? But however it was, it saved me from the unwanted awkward gestures I could make with Rei after that moment. Maybe she's in her room, I thought to myself.

As I walked my way towards the stairs, trying to find a reason to knock on Rei's door, I stopped. Maybe I should not disturb her for now. So I changed my mind, and knocked onto Miku's door instead. The door opened revealing Mio. She seemed fine and it made me feel relieved that she's not in her emotional status again. Mio asked me to come in. Miku's room was small but it had a different kind of aura coming from it. Youthful but consistent. The last time I was here was when Miku fell into a deep sleep. When Rei asked me to come and solve the mystery. I was told by Rei during the first time I met her, that Miku had just graduated from high school and now worked as Rei's assistant. If I calculated her age now, she could be 19 years old this year. She was still very young, I thought. Just four years older than Mio.

Maybe I could be right bringing Mio here. I really hoped that they could be close friends, as both of them have experienced the same loss.

" How're you doing, Mio? Are you okay here? " I asked Mio, who was sitting in front of Miku's desk, looking at Miku's photo of her and some guy. She said without even glancing at me. " I'm fine.. Miku's very kind.. ", she stood up, with that picture in her hand coming towards me. I was standing in front of the door when I saw the picture she held in her hand.

" She's out to buy some groceries, she said... " , after she finished her sentence, she showed me the picture she was holding. " That's Miku's brother.. Miku told me about him.. before she went out.. " I looked at it, and realized it was Mafuyu. Miku's older brother. He was also the junior of us three to work together under the same teacher, our late Mr Takamine. He was spirited away and could most likely to be dead, at a very young age of 21. Where or how he disappeared, I did not even know. All I know was his curiosity to know more and more of the Himuro Mansion led him astray, leaving me alone to research the folklore myself. I was not that close to Mafuyu, but I knew of his sixth sense and the tragic incident which scarred him and his sister. The mother took her own life, because she suffered from the same gift Miku and Mafuyu possessed.

" I didn't even know that she also had lost someone so dear to her.. but.. she seemed so cheerful.. and content now as if it doesn't even bother her.. she's not even sad, is she? ", My eyes raised from the picture to my niece. She was practically holding her body, with her arms crossed. I could see the gleam from her eyes, tears ready to fall down again. Then I said to her. " She is. She still feels sad. But she made a promise to herself, that she will continue to live on. Because you see... when we continued to live feeling such guilt, we're not aware of the consequences of our loved ones. Miku knew, that Mafuyu wouldn't want her to live like that forever. That's why she chose to be happy and move on.. and that's what I want you to do.. ".

Mio acted surprised to my respond. She looked at me with her twinkling eyes. I continued. " I know.. I lost Mayu too.. I lost my sister too.. Your mother  
went away, disappeared from your life.. and I feel sad.. thinking that I don't have anybody else in this world. But I still have you, Mio.. That's why I  
decided to move on from the grief.. living together with you.. ", the tears collected at the bottom of the eyelids poured down to her cheeks. Mio sobbed  
lightly, and then hugged me tightly. Her face buried on my chest, as I stroke the strands of her soft hair.

As a man, I could feel myself almost crying, but managed to compose myself. I was glad that Mio finally understood what I had hoped for her. It was honest, coming from the heart. I made my own private promise to myself, that I will continue living my life to the fullest, and will care for Mio as if she was my own kid. Even with only 9 years apart, I still think that I should be more of a father figure, as well as a brother to her to help her move on. I will do whatever it takes to help Mio live like a normal teenager. This I swear.

* * *

An awkward silence swept through me and Rei at the sofa we're sitting. Miku and Mio were already exchanging subjects and interests. Dinner was delicious, cooked by the house owner, herself, with Miku and Mio assisting her. Not only she possessed the beauty of elegance, she also possessed the skill of a thoughtful mother's. I did not even know why I acted so unusual even Mio asked is I was alright.

Despite the pale skin I bore, I also had the kind of face which left people to think if I was alright, because I often looked like I was sick or suffered  
from insufficient nutrients. Mio and Miku kept conversing with each other, mostly about teenager's stuff. About their favourite activities and other stuffs  
which I cared less. All I cared about was to bring myself to find topics so I could talk about with Rei who sat next to me, sipping her drink of iced tea.  
She was listening to the girls when suddenly Miku came up with an idea.

" How about we go to the beach tomorrow? ", Mio became enthusiastic and looked at me, with a hoping expression that I would agree to Miku's suggestion. Since I didn't respond, not because I didn't like the idea, it was because I was dazed and my mind was elsewhere, Miku continued.

" It has been a long time since I went to the beach. All four of us could go and just relax.. watching the sunset.. what do you say, Kei? Rei? " Miku's call  
sounded like she was chanting. My name and Rei's rhymed. Mio stared at me with a very wishful expression. I knew that look and I knew how much she loved nature, the sound of the water flowing, and the breeze. Those kind of places became her favourite places to hang out especially when she went there with Mayu. I looked at her and smiled. " Okay... we'll go... ".

Mio widened her smile. I guess it was a good idea to bring her to the place where she could think everything clearer now that she had a new friend with her. I couldn't be more grateful bringing her here. I could see how excited Miku was, she began to plan things and suggested snacks to bring. It was a harmonious scene, watching my niece giggling with her new friend. As for Rei, she was equally as happy. I turned my face towards her, and she did too. I gave her a half smile, considering to be not so excited, as I could still felt the tension on my shoulder and the abnormal formality. She too smiled at me, but it took me a second to process the smile as it was hidden behind her pale pink lips.

It was no doubt that she felt the awkward tension between us.

After a few conversation with Miku and a few awkward ones with Rei, Mio spoke, rubbing her sleepy eyes. " I think I'm gonna go upstairs.. I feel really  
tired.. may I excuse myself, miss Rei? " she stood up, carrying her empty glass and attempting to collect ours before she was stopped by Miku. " No! Leave it, Mio.. I'll do the dishes.. why don't you go first? ", Miku insisted, carrying the tray and walked towards the kitchen. Mio glanced at Miku shyly, and instead of climbing upstairs, she went to the kitchen to help Miku drying the glasses, and putting them into the cabinet. Frankly, I was not paying attention to any of them. I was too busy trying to face Rei, demanding strength from all parts of my body to speak in the most formal way ever.

" Are you not sleepy? I mean... you're not going to bed? " Rei who was petting the black cat, whom I think belonged to Miku, responded. " No.. not yet.. I have to talk to you about something. " then she looked at me with serious expression in her eyes.

I frowned. But just to cover it up, I looked away, and pretended to watch the television which was not even switched on.  
It's definitely have something to do with what just happened in the evening. It's definitely that. I began to feel nervous, fidgeting and crossing my legs. I did not understand why I was acting suspicious. I was really unsure what to say.

" We're going to bed, excuse us, Rei, Kei.. Good night! Don't sleep too late.. okay? We're going to the beach tomorrow! " Miku announced excitedly, grabbing Mio's hand and gave us one final gesture before they went upstairs. After I heard the sound of the door being shut, I immediately turned to Rei, curious to what she was referring to earlier.

" Come with me. I need to show you something. ", I was surprised. I thought she was going to talk about something. Rei stood up, pulling her sweater down and turning her back against me. She was wearing a navy blue sweater, probably had a nightgown underneath, as I could see the fabric which I thought was satin fell down before her knees which ended with what appeared to be laces. I had no knowledge of clothes, whatsoever, but I was attracted to her legs. When we sat down together, I had to admit I stole glances on her legs everytime she moved. Her skin looked paler somehow, but that did not stop me from looking.

As I followed Rei from behind, we climbed upstairs, made our way passing Miku's bedroom, and to an unknown room at the end of the hallway.

This must be Yuu's room, I thought to myself. Rei twisted the knob and went in. She switched on the light and helped herself in. I stepped into the room and felt a certain energy coming out of the room. A strange breeze escaping to the hallway. Maybe it was just my feeling, but the breeze felt abnormal. It was cool but left no pressure on my skin. As I walked further into the room, my eyes scanned the corner of the room to the very end.

A blue bed was placed against the wall, and the curtain was also blue of colour. Something caught my eye at the desk which was placed in front of the bed and realized they were the old tapes I collected from my research. Rei stood in front of the book rack which was placed tight next to the closet and then she glanced at me. "

" So this is Yuu's room? " she nodded. I still had no idea why she brought me there, but I did not ask her straight away. Instead I commented on the colour of the bed and the curtain and concluded. " Blue.. it must be your favourite colour, huh? " Rei's eyes grew brighter. She nodded again. This time, she added. " Yeah.. it was his favourite colour too. But he said it's because blue reminded him of me.. that's why he chose blue.. for the sheet and the curtain.. " she was now sitting on the bed. Beckoning me to come sit next to her.

I went to sit with her and began to pop the question. " So why did you bring me here? ".

She stared at her hands on her thighs, playing with the silver ring on right hand and then replied. " If there's anything you like, you can feel free to have them.. I have to clear his stuff.. besides.. I don't even use them.. it's a waste to throw them away or leave them in boxes.." there were many pauses when she spoke. I had to be certain if she made the right decision.

" Are you sure? Because I could use a lot of books here to continue my research.. but are you okay with that? ", I observed her face, trying to see if there were any signs of uncertainty or change of decisions. She turned her head, now facing me and said. " Yeah, I'm okay. I think Yuu wouldn't mind too.. you need them more anyway.. for your research and work. " When I thought she had finished, she continued. " It's time to do this. This is the first step to move on.. I'm sure Yuu would like that.. don't you Yuu? " I could almost see her smile when she looked at the ring on her ring finger. I was certain that that was the engagement ring Yuu gave her.

" What about you? He was still a part of you.. don't you need some of his things to remind you? " I asked, this time, with an unspeakable judgement. She looked at me, with a smile which finally formed on her lips and answered. " No.. this is enough.. " she raised her hand which still had the engagement ring on. " It was enough.. he had given me everything.. he even took my pain away.. " she bit her lips. Took her pain away? Yuu was the one who left her, giving her pain and torment her with guilt. I was shocked.. I did not just think that. Was I envied of him? Of the love she had for him?

" So that's it.. I think I'm going to bed.. oh. by the way, you could sleep here if you want. I don't feel very good, letting you to sleep at the sofa all alone by yourself.. " Wait? She's going already? She already stood up, and making her first step towards the door when I said. " Wait! That's it? " she turned her face around, and replied. " Yeah.. why? Is there anything else that you want to talk about? ", I was really sure she was going to say something about the almost kiss we had before dinner. But seeing her distraught face, I realized I was the only one who had the idea. I was frowning but looked away. Searching for other reason to respond to her question. Then, I looked at her and say.. " Nothing.. I was just thinking maybe I should sleep downstairs.. my bag is downstairs anyway. But thanks though.. ".

" Okay ... well.. it's up to you. I don't mind if you want to sleep anywhere. ", Rei said.

'Anywhere? How about your room?', I monologued. I almost laughed to that idea, but I could still maintain my neutral exrpression. I murmured, " Okay.. good night, Rei.. See you in the morning. ", I smiled, faintly. I grew fond of my own ability to sustain being as cool as a cucumber, when I was still discontented with that short conversation we had.

After she wished me good night, she walked out of the door, leaving me alone in Yuu's room. Frankly, I was still hoping for something else. Still hoped for more explanation of the incident occured in the evening.

But why do we need to explain about that anyway? Rei and I did not even kissed. So technically, nothing happened. For her, maybe nothing happened. But for me, something did change. Someway, somehow, Rei triggered something in my heart which I never felt before.

It made me long to see her face again. I was overwhelmed by the need to look at her face one more time. But knowing that that probably would not happen, I sat on the chair in front of the desk and placed my elbows on the table, arms raised, as I rested my head on my palms.

_' You just don't get it, do you Kei? She's still in love with Yuu. What do you hope from her? To love you like she loved Yuu? '_

I sighed. What happened back then still felt too good to be true. As I sat on the chair, my hand was searching through the tapes. My letters which were addresed to Yuu were all stacked neatly on the table. I was not very interested to look at them because I was the one who wrote them. I leaned against the chair, my hand opened the first drawer of the desk. My eyes scanned in the drawer when I realized of something.

A white envelope caught my eye. But it was not just a regular envelope.

It was addressed to _Kei Amakura_. To _me._

When I carefully opened the letter, I read the date on the letter and I realized it was dated on that day.

The day before the accident that took Yuu's life.


	5. Sweet Kiss and Bitter Dream

**Hey, hey, to everybody who has been reading this fanfic.. :P It is now the 5th chapter of this story, and I promise you that you're gonna see more lovely scenes coming.. and maybe a little bit of action, if you know what I mean.. ;)**

**So, before I begin spoiling the contents, I'm just gonna let you guys read this chapter through!**

**Thank you again for keeping up with me! And thanks very much for leaving me reviews! Especially to Quarantine Wings! :D**

**To avoid any other confusions, we are now back to Rei's POV. So, switch your reading voice into a female's, ok?**

* * *

_' Are you gonna stay the night?_  
_Doesn't mean we're bound for life,_  
_So, are you gonna stay the night? '_

**Stay The Night by Zedd feat. Hayley Williams.**

I closed my bedroom door and took a few steps to my bed. I removed the sweater to reveal the nightgown which was quite revealing. It had a low cut at the section of the neck, and exposed half of my breasts. The nightgown was only hung onto my shoulder by a pair of thin straps on each side, and the bottom had slits, which revealed my legs whenever I took a step. I never wore a sweater at nights actually, considering that there were only me and Miku around the house. But since we invited Kei and Mio to stay the night, I realized that it might be inappropriate. To Kei of course. I was sure Mio wouldn't mind me walking with only my towel on around but I had to cover up for myself.

As I hovered onto my bed, laying on my left side, I suddenly remembered the little conversation I had with Kei just a few moments ago. Although I was the one who initiated the conversation, I'd still think that he would lure me to talk about what almost happened between us. At least say something, but no. He didn't even mutter a word about it

I was not even sure if he felt the same way about it, or if it could become a huge deal. But apparently, he didn't even mention a word about it, leaving me confused and annoyed. I still yearned for an explanation to something which I still was not sure of.

I was tossing and turning in my bed, guessing about what Kei thought about me, particularly about the incident. Before I could find an answer to one too many question at the back of my mind, I fell asleep.

* * *

It was pitch black. There were no sounds or any sign of life in that darkness. I tried to visualize something of that nothingness but I couldn't bring myself to figure out where I was. As if I was thrown into a confined room with no window, padded with soundproof walls.

Absolutely nothing.

Then suddenly, there was a sound of water droplets falling on the ground, as I could feel myself soaking wet from the droplets from the sky. I opened my eyes and blinked for the first time. It was raining, but my vision was a complete blur. As I blinked for the second time, I gained even more vivid vision of the scene.

It was raining. I was lying on the ground. Without looking at my surroundings, I collected every strength left to stand up and figure out what just happened before it got pitch black. I finally got the whole image of the place, I was standing in a road, where the rain was falling heavily and where the ground I was standing at greeted scattered bits of glasses. As I followed the trail of the glasses bits, I finally came to a stop.

I knelt down in front of a familiar car which had turned upside down. I saw a hand lunged out from the wide open passenger door. My eyes crept in to see to whom that arm belonged to.

To my surprise and horror, it was someone I know very well. His body was stiff. There's no sign that he could be breathing.

It was a man I knew. And if this was the same as the tragic incident, I would find my fiance laying there stiff, with his eyes closed, leaving me breathlessly as I watched him lying dead.

But it was not the same. And that was not my fiance whom I loved ever since we first met at college.

It was somebody else. It was Kei!

No.. no.. this can't be! I screamed to myself. It couldn't be Kei.. that was a dream.

I just got to know Kei, he can't be dead now! No he can't! I can't afford to lose another soul which I have grown attached to!

Instead of weeping in agony, I reached out to him, and shook his shoulder as I yelled out his name. " Kei! Kei, please wake up! ", there was no respond. I cried bitterly, but still had not given up. Now with an even louder voice, " Kei! Don't leave me! Kei! " I kept out calling his name. To my despair, the stiff body didn't even move and inch. I cried out his name with my loudest volume ever.

" KEI! "

* * *

" Rei! Wake up! ", I was struggling when I opened my eyes. I could feel the warm tears coming from both eyes, as I recalled the scene before my name was called. I muttered, " Kei.. ", still having no clue what was going on, I called out Kei's name with a slightly loud voice.

" I'm here.. Rei.. ", I was looking down to a slightly bigger hand holding mine. I looked at the person who had been holding my hand, who had been calling out my name. I saw him in front of me. Alive and breathing. Kei looked at me, with his pair of concerned eyes. He looked worried and afraid at the same time.

I could not believe what I saw, and raised my hand to feel the skin of his face. It felt warm somehow. My lips formed a smile, and I felt relieved seeing Kei. I wrapped my arms around him who sitting at the edge of my bed. At that moment, I didn't even care.

What mattered to me was that he was alive and well. He was not dead.

I wept while hugging him. I muttered. " You're alive.. I thought you're gone.. ", I could feel his hand brushing my back. I wore a nightgown which exposed the back. He patted it attempting to comfort me and then pulled himself away to look into my eyes. I still hadn't figured out what happened. I was still traumatized by the visual of him laying dead, replacing the image of Yuu. As I gazed into his charcoal eyes, he spoke. " Rei.. it's okay.. I'm here. You just have a bad dream. "

His fingers trailed towards my hair which fell passing my forehead. He tucked the strands of hair to the back of my ear, revealing my teary eyes. I was dreaming? I thought to myself. As my conscience slowly took over my mind, I began to process everything and realized that it was all just another nightmare.

" I was in Yuu's room, when you suddenly screamed my name.. I thought something went wrong and I just barged in.. I was so worried that you might have that dream again...", for a moment I saw the light coming from outside my window reflected in his eyes, showing the tears on his bottom eyelids. It could fall down anytime now. " I thought you called my name.. because someone was trying to take you away or something. " he let out a small chuckle. My eyes were still glued to his. As he placed his hand on my cheek, wiping my tears away with thumb, he continued.

" I can't forgive myself.. if anything happened to you.. I failed once.. I'm not gonna repeat the same mistake again. " He spoke with a strict tone in his voice. I could see the determined expression in his eyes.

I raised my hand pressing his closer against my cheek and sighed. " No.. you won't.. I'm just happy that you're alive and it was just a bad dream.. I fear that I might lose you.. like I lost Yuu.. ".

I sobbed lightly, and it sounded more like a whisper. To my surprise, Kei's eyes seemed to display a sense of discontent. As if Yuu's name triggered something in him to make his next move onto me. That soft expression he had when he confessed to me of how afraid he was immediately changed into a vague one.

His eyes were locked into mine. Suddenly, he grabbed me by my waist, then pulled me closer in a very quick pace. His left hand clasped onto my right hand. It was too sudden for me realize what was happening until I could feel his lips brushing against mine. He kissed me. My eyes were shut the whole time, but to my own surprise, I actually liked it. I began to pull his body closer as the sensual feeling begin to send signals to every inch of my body. I could feel his hand clutching on to my hair, as he pressed his lips over mine.

How long has it been since I made love to anyone? Months? Years? Because I almost forgot how it felt like and I wanted to remind myself so bad that now I began to lust over him.

His now moist lips, began to trail from my lips to my neck. At that very moment, my eyes opened, as I let out a huge breath. My hand was stroking his hair aggresively while he was kissing my neck when I suddenly saw the silver ring on my finger. I gasped, and shoved Kei's body away. Kei looked startled, and waited for me to say something. I didn't even know why I reacted that way. As if I still abide by the rule where I would never cheat on Yuu as long as I still wear the ring on my finger. As if I was still tied to him.

My hands were still on his chest, a result of pushing him away from me. I looked down and my tears started falling again. Before I could say something, Kei muttered with a solemn voice, " I'm sorry.. I didn't know why I just did that. " my eyes raised to look into his, but those dark eyes were covered by his messy bangs. I reached in to stroke his hair covering his eyes but he raised from my bed before I could do so. " I think you're okay now... I guess I should be going too. ", he was about to walk away when suddenly my hand automatically took his hand and said, " No! Please... stay with me tonight.. ", I begged him, his back was still facing me.

He turned around, and this time, displaying a set of glistening eyes. " I can't... I just don't trust myself with you.. ", he looked away, mumbling shamefully.

I couldn't let him go just yet. My hand gripped around his wrist but I loosened the grip a little. I couldn't fall asleep not knowing his whereabouts. Not after that dream I had. That thought of losing someone, haunted me. I couldn't bear to feel that way anymore. Even if I had to break some rules to make him stay. I pulled his arm closer to me, and looked at him into the eyes and said. " But I trust you, Kei... I just couldn't fall asleep... if you're not around.. I wanted to be sure that you're safe.. I can't keep still.. if you're not here, Kei.. so please.. stay.. ", I stammered, as I braced myself to hold back the tears. He stared into my eyes, as if scanning me to make sure I didn't change my mind.

But I still wondered that moment when I begged him to stay the night. Was he so important that I wasn't willing to let him go? Or was it just another syndrome of being traumatized after losing someone you love? But Kei wasn't even somebody that I'm bound to, at least not before we shared the kiss. I remembered.. we just had our first kiss. If it wasn't because of me, it could have been more than just a kiss. Frankly, the lust I had for his affections and touch still hadn't ceased but I was still able to control myself. I didn't know about Kei though.

After a long moment of silence, Kei finally spoke. " Alright.. I'll stay.. until you fall asleep.. but no more than that. ", I wasn't satisfied with his answer but it was still better than nothing. I nodded and with his hand still in mine, I lay down, putting my head down on my pillow. He bent down as well, and then sat at the edge of the bed, looking at me with such delicate expression. Gracefully stroked my hair as I looked at him. His eyes were still attached to mine, and as we looked into each other's windows to the soul, nonchalantly, he bent down and kissed me on my forehead instead on my lips.

As he pulled his lips away, I blinked, and our eyes met again after that. Behind those lips, there was a hidden smile. By then, I knew that he wasn't plan on going anywhere. He just wanted to keep me safe, as he waited for me to close my eyes and I did after a few moments, with his hand still in mine. I fell into a deep slumber, welcoming the embrace of that memorable night.

I woke up to the morning sunlight which crept through the slight opened curtain. My eyes hurt when I tried to open them at a first blink and after a few blinks, my eyes adjusted to the exposure and I turned around to look at the clock which was placed on my table. I had slept facing the wall, and when I turned around, I found myself to be looking into the face of a man. I nearly screamed but I managed to contain it and let out a loud gasp instead. My gasp woke him up and sat up immediately as if pulling himself from the gravity of the bed. He jumped out of bed when he realized I was awake. I almost giggled when I noticed his awkward blush. It was adorable seeing him embarassed but I couldn't be more embarassed as I remembered what I was wearing. I immediately took hold of the blanket and covered my upper body. Perhaps I was too dense the night before, and didn't even care about my appearance.

I glanced at his outfit and noticed that he was only wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of shorts, but I had to remind myself that this proved that nothing extreme happened between us last night. It was too dark to know what he was wearing last night. I rewind the scene in my mind, and had to pause after I remembered the kiss and when we made out. Suddenly, I remembered what he said about staying with me not more than after I fell asleep. Looked like he stayed with me throughout the night. Although touched by the thought, I still convinced myself that maybe he fell asleep waiting for me. Maybe he wasn't even planning to fall asleep with me.

Kei glanced at me, blushed with a 50 shades of red on each side of his cheek. I could tell that he was really embarrassed and I waited for him to explain himself. Awkward silence again made it's way through the air we breathed in, and as Kei let out a sigh, he spoke, with an unusually softer tone, breaking the silence between us. " I'm sorry.. I fell asleep with you.. you looked so peaceful.. so.. ", he couldn't even finished his sentence as he brushed his face with his hand. Probably trying to cover his reddened face. " .. I'm gonna go now.. excuse me.. ", he walked out of my room leaving me blank. I still haven't said anything to him..I haven't even wish him good morning. But the air felt so tense between us that I couldn't even say anything to save it.

Though I couldn't explain to myself why we felt so close to each other the previous night and even kissed. We acted so natural as if we were a couple. Those words we said to each other had never felt more right. The kiss still lingered on my lips, and I could still feel the touch of his rough skin against my smooth one. Kei acted so spontaneuosly that I drowned to my own senses and rewinding that moment repeatedly. Now we were back to that awkward state again. I really have no idea what's going on between us. It never really occured to me that our first kiss could have been achieved that way.

The dream I had last night was so vivid..  
It felt so real, I could still feel the throbbing pain in my chest as I recalled the scene where I saw Kei in that state.  
What if the dream came true?  
Will I be able to accept the death of another man in my life?  
Can I afford to live again after that?

My mind kept searching and searching for answers which will become my guide. After listing every possibility that may become a reality which I have to face alone, I became more aware of the situation Kei and I shared.

I knew what needs to be done.

The next time I see Kei, I will tell him how I really felt about this uncertainty.

I will definitely won't hold back.

As I looked at the silver ring wrapping around my finger, I knew that this must be settled as soon as possible.

I knew that I made the right decision.

At least for that brief moment, it felt right to me.


	6. Cold War

Another chapter for this fanfiction. Well, finally I have the urge to write again as recently I have been preoccupied with some other things, and when I have a free time, I ramble through someone else's fanfiction which is also based on Fatal Frame 3. It was quite addicting as I find myself to fall in love in reading again, and I began to search for other fanfictions which are based on my favourite animes and so on..

That was why I didn't really have the time to take control of my own story, and to be honest, I got a little case of a writer's block. But now that I'm here, I am gonna finish this as quick as I can, and even without anybody reading it, I am gonna prove to myself that I am capable of finishing what I started even if it ended up being another junk in one's eye.

At least, I get to finish a story which only few could manage. ;)

Back to Kei's POV, no rush this time. I'm gonna take it slow with my lack of vocabs, but enough contents to keep this story going. :D

And to those who has been reading it but never leave a review, you are most welcome, shy shadow readers! :)

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A piece of paper scribbled with quite intricate handwritings on the desk caught my eye when I entered the room of my departed friend. The air was cool, coming from the window which had never been opened before due to the endless rain. When the rain finally stopped at the end of spring to welcome the long awaited summer, the curtain was neatly tucked into its rear, and the windows were slid open. I breathed in the air as I took another glance at the letter, my mind was now squirming with questions.

I never had the chance to read the letter the previous night. I recalled what had happened between me and her and found myself blushing to the thought. I still remember the nightgown she wore. She looked enticing to my eyes, it all sort of awakened my instincts. All I wanted to do was to comfort her in her time of need, console her when she felt the world torn apart and embrace her until the last of her tears was shed. That was all I ever intended to do. I couldn't look at the way she struggled in her sleep.

A part of me knew that if I hadn't been there to wake her up, I wouldn't be able to see her again. Or was it me just being paranoid as I have failed to rescue her before? What did she dream about when she screamed my name? Did I die like the way Yuu died? Why did it even matter to her so much that she was so afraid of having me disappeared from her sight? And there was the inevitable feeling of envy and tempted by my own need for the longing kiss that we failed to conjure before, that I pulled her into my arms and I single-handedly surrender myself just to feel the touch of her luscious lips against mine. When she mentioned Yuu, I had the slightest jealousy but it was more to being envious because that man hadn't left the special place in her heart. The fact that he used to be half of Rei made me feel unwanted. That was when it struck me that I wanted to hold this woman. I wanted to be able to hold her in my arms and tell her that I will never leave her. I wanted to satisfy her every need, and succumb to it, and I wanted to do it so much better than he could ever done. It felt like a challenge I made for myself, but it was more than just a challenge. I knew instantly back then, when I first laid my eyes on her, she could be more than just another woman seeking for help.

I knew that I felt something when she leaned against my shoulder, helpless and vulnerable. But I wasn't sure of it until now. I had her in my arms last night, and her vulnerable side took its mask off again. I couldn't help looking away from her beautiful face nor I could turn away and leave her because that was the last thing that I would have ever done even when I recalled saying that I was just going to stay until she fell asleep. I remembered how much I tried to hold back from doing the same devilish thought I had when I stared at those lips I had kissed and her every inch of body which really teased my longing thirst. It had been one of the most difficult nights in my life. To ignore my desire, and to simply assure her safety. Even if I could have walked away from her, I couldn't bear to do so. Instead I laid my head down next to her, just listening to her breathing. My eyes couldn't take themselves of off her and when I knew she had fallen asleep, I held her in my arms and buried my face in the back of her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of lotion coming from her body. Only God knows how much I tried to prevent myself from touching her further, and how much I cursed at my own self-control. If it had been another guy, he would take advantage of her and we all know what happened afterwards. But I was not the worst of men neither the gentleman. I wasn't a saint. I was just an ordinary man, and the existence of that woman proved that I could also fall onto my knees by her unintended charms. Her soft skin, her pink petal lips and don't even get me started on other things that could possibly awakened the beast within me.

After all those events compiled into one night, I suddenly became aware of my feelings. I knew that deep down inside, I fell in love immediately with her. Everything about her triggered my every move. Her gorgeous eyes, her voice which was the music in my ears, her gentle breathing, her spirit and even her weakness. They all managed to become that one catalyst transmitting into my mind. The thought couldn't be more clearer. I knew I love her deeper than I thought. It might be just another desire to be conquered, but I will do whatever it takes to make her mine.

I made my way towards the desk. I held the letter in my hand and thought to myself, what could he wrote in his final letter? Judging from the envelope, the top part hadn't been cut open yet. So probably no one read it before me. Probably Rei herself hadn't got the chance to read it and I was the first one. I braced myself to read the contents of the letter and as I carefully sat down on the bed, I took a deep breath and read it through. I never thought that Yuu would write to me, at least not before I knew his passsing. But what lied in the letter was far more important than being just a piece of paper filled with unspeakable thoughts.

_Dear Kei,_

_I'm sorry to reply your letter with such late notice as I was too busy with my own work, and was pretty occupied with my wedding which will happen this summer. I'm so glad to inform that my fiancee and I will be married this summer, and I really hope that you can be the best man for the most important day of my life. As to answer your question, I have never been more happier with my fiancee. And she's doing really fine with her projects. I hope you can meet her in person. You can always visit me at my house whenever you come to Tokyo. I'm sure my fiancee and I will be very please to welcome you here._

_Regarding the problem with your cousin, Mio, I think I'm much more comfortable in helping you if I'm there. I think this case requires a very serious observation and care, because it deals with the matter of life and death. The syndromes of her sudden illness or may I say, condition matches every relation to the urban legend of the Manor of Sleep. I gave my word to do whatever it takes to end her illness and to bring you a peace of mind. I can assure you that we'll solve this mystery and your cousin will heal. I guarantee you that! Besides, I have been very grateful to you for helping me throughout my semester in college. I have many sources here, and I will bring them to you._

_Rei and I have discussed about visiting you in your hometown, and she's also willing to help. So, I will call you once we have confirmed the date, okay? It has been a while since I have seen you and I hope you're still in good shape. I will bring every bit of information I have and we're gonna solve this problem, and save Mio._

_I'm really sorry to know that Mio's still struggling to accept the truth about her sister. I know the feeling of losing someone very well. I can't really imagine losing the person you love in just a blink of the eye. And truthfully, if that happens to Rei..._

_I can't really picture a life of not having her around. I don't know about her, but if I were to die before my time, I can't think of someone other than you to take care of her. I know this is really sudden, but I actually thought of it just recently and I wondered about it for quite some time now. You know I have always trusted you with all my heart and you're my best friend, and as weird as I sound right now, I'm instilling my trust in you to watch over my beloved fiancee when I'm gone._

_I hope this sudden change of topic doesn't disturb you in any way, I just think that you should know. It's strange to think about dying and leaving her. It never happened to me before. But anyway, I have to go. I'm sorry for mumbling in the letter. You know me better than anyone. I always do that when I think too much. Until the day we meet again, take care of yourself, okay?_

_Yuu_

At the back of the letter was a photo of a woman wearing a blue dress, with a qenuine smile on her lips. It was a photo of Rei during their senior year together or so I thought. I took the photo and stared into the picture, thinking hard of what Yuu could have meant in his letter. Obviously, he wanted me to watch over Rei. But the term felt so alien in my mind. Watch over someone? As in taking care of them? I folded the letter and put it into the envelope. I continued sitting on the bed of my deceased best friend, looking out of the window. As intelligent as I could be, I have never been so dense in interpreting such simple words. Of course, Yuu meant to say that he wanted me to take care of Rei. What else could he mean by that? I sat there for another few minutes and managed to come up with my own conclusion.

It was a responsibility Yuu had entrusted me to do, and I promised him in my heart that I keep an eye on Rei.

It wasn't that hard. I already felt the need to protect her and to love her. I took his words as his last will and all I needed to do was to figure out the right words to say to Rei. Probably confess to her about my feelings. Even if I had no clue of what she could possibly think of me. I just wanted to take the oppurtunity and indulge the good as well as the bad consequences that could come out of it. I really hope that Rei could accept my feelings and consider in taking me as her guardian or maybe even more than that. I could fight to earn her trust and I would never let her down.

" Kei! ", a sudden familiar voice called my name. I stood up and walked out of the room and saw Mio standing in front of the Miku's door. I closed Yuu's bedroom door behind me, and made my way towards Mio. I looked at her face and realized of her change. Her face looked fresh and happier. I could tell that she had a good sleep judging from her posture. But I asked anyway.

" Good morning, Mio. Did you have a good sleep last night? ", she nodded with a smile on her face.

" Yes I have. For the first time in months... I finally have a good sleep. But I still have trouble falling asleep.. but it's okay. I'll be alright. ", she smiled again, this time looking at me with her thoughtful eyes.

" How about you, dear uncle? Did you sleep well? " I cringed at the word 'uncle'. Mio left out a giggle, and I gave her a half grin. It wasn't that I didn't like the title uncle, I just felt older than I was. Other people would imagine an uncle being a man in his forties, may or may not have a facial hair and probably had white roots. Mio knew how old I was, but she jokingly called me uncle Kei sometime. I would often corrected the pet name my niece gave me, and asked her to call me by my first name. It was more comfortable for me considering that my age and Mio's weren't that far apart.

I stood there in front of her as she waited for my response. I recalled what happened last night. Falling asleep next to Rei, with her in my arms, feeling her warmth... had a passionate kiss with her.. almost lost control of myself..

" Kei? ", I jumped when I heard my name being called out. " Did you? ", Mio asked again. At that time, I was confused. What were we talking again?

" Did I what? " I hesitatnly asked her that as I counted the things I have done last night. There were things that I couldn't compromised to tell her. After all, of those occurences have indeed continued to become a personal business of mine.

" Sleep well? " Mio, now frowning, stared into my eyes with questioning shot. Before she even proceeded in asking more, I replied. " Yes... I have.. thanks for asking, Mio. " I smiled at my niece and once again she giggled.

" You looked like you just had the greatest dream in your life. ", not knowing to say, I just started laughing with her.

" Oh Mio.. guys can have so many great dreams. So many great dreams indeed.. ", giving my niece and myself a sentence of two meanings, I immediately changed the topic. I could be a total goofball sometimes, making an adult joke which my innocent and pure hearted niece did not seem to understand. It was much easier to keep it to myself despite the lame dirty jokes I created just to amuse myself.

" Uhm... okay.. oh yeah! That reminds me.. Rei asked for you. ", Mio winked when mentioning Rei. I could feel my cheeks turning red as I could feel the warmth coming from it. How much did Mio knew of what happened last night? Have they been eavesdropping? I couldn't settle for more reason when I suddenly remembered that Mio had a strong inhuman sense. That girl had a gift of sixth sense for God's sake. Somehow, she could see beyond what others couldn't. But does that include knowing what others felt? I had no idea. Maybe she heard Rei's screaming my name last night. Probably they had the wrong idea. It turned out that my niece wasn't so innocent at all.

" Okay.. I'm going downstairs. Are you coming? ", I asked her, while looking away, ignoring my attempts in getting rid of those stupid blush from my face.

" Nope, I'm gonna pack my things in Miku's room. If you guys need anything, just call me, okay.. but I guess I'm not needed.. ", she immediately went into the door behind her and vanished. I smirked at her unusual cheekiness, and made my way towards the stairs.

I walked passed the kitchen and saw Miku, who was making sandwiches enthusiastically. When she noticed my presence, she paused at her action and then she said to me. " Rei's in the developing room. If you're searching for her.. it's by the toilet, the door at the end of the corridor. ", she smiled sweetly and then continued. " I'm just preparing these for our beach trip.. I hope you like smoked salmon. ", I reluctantly smiled back and replied. " Yes, thanks, Miku. They looked tasty. Well, I'm gonna go to see Rei. Excuse me. ", I almost laughed at my sudden politeness.

As I walked towards the door at the very end, I glanced at Yuu's altar and silently greeted him. I wondered if the dead could feel jealousy. Is it possible that we might change when we die? Are we always going to be the same even in afterlife? It was still a huge mystery. But it was not as simple as holding back my feelings. I would constantly think of the possibilities that could occur in the other world. Then, it hit me. I almost forgot about the letter Yuu had given me. Could it be that Yuu had a feeling that he wasn't going to live long? I slowly twisted the knob.

Rei was developing photos at the counter where a sink was placed in when I entered the room lit with a red light. I wasn't sure if she had noticed my arrival, because I walked in with such silent pace. I was still standing in front of the door, having no shame in admiring every detail of her slim figure from the back. I couldn't help it, I was a man after all. I wanted to embrace every pleasure I could just looking at her posture, and wondering how it felt like to hold her from behind. Suddenly, I snapped when she accidentally dropped a pair of silver tongs. It fell onto the floor and landed just in front of me to reach for it. I bent down to grab it and then hand it to her.

" Thanks.. I didn't notice you, Kei.. ", she took the tongs from me and then quickly turned her back against me. After she immersed the blank glossy film into the water, she turned around facing me, leaning against the counter.

" What photos are they? ", I eagerly asked, just to break bits of unwanted tense between us. She took interest in my question and answered.

" Photos from my old camera. I didn't even think of getting them developped, because I haven't used it in a long time. But since we're going to the beach.. I thought of replacing the film and use it today. " I nodded to her long and clear reply. The awkward feeling began to decrease as I continued making ammends to the conversation.

" Oh, I see.. Hey, is that a photo of Yuu? ", I chided at my own self for mentioning Yuu's name. Of course, I was intrigued by his photo which was newly developed and hung at the string above us. I was being really careful to avoid any unnecessary subject to bring our previous state back again and there I was, making a great favor to myself. I glanced at Rei, who was looking at the photo silently. The man looked younger in that photo, his head was rested on his own arms placed on the table. Probably Rei took the photo without him knowing. For a moment, a smile of a distant memory forming on Rei's lips.

" Yeah.. it was during before our final exam. He fell asleep while we were studying at the library together. I couldn't help but take a picture. ", she giggled and I was surprised to be seeing her laughing for the first time in front of me. So she does have a beautiful smile, I thought to myself. I suddenly wondered of something and began to ask her another question.

" Don't you guys have ever taken a photo together? Sorry for asking but I have never seen a picture of you guys together.. ", I asked, resulting Rei's smile to be fading. I wanted to apologize for the sudden question but she responded before I did.

" Now that you mention it, we never took a picture together.. ", I chuckled when she replied but when she left no sign of joking, I couldn't help but responded, " Seriously? Never? But why? ", Rei stood opposing to me, and then replied.

" I don't know.. I just never thought of it. It was always me who took his picture. Or him taking a picture of me. But it never occcured to me to take a picture with him together.. maybe because I thought.. we will always have another time to have our picture taken... ", I could sense the regret coming from her now sad voice and keep quiet as she continued.

" But I guess it'll never happen, huh? I guess the little things we take for granted mattered the most. I just thought that I would be with him together to do things together.. but.. ", suddenly she stopped. I was aware of what could be happening next as I could see the gleam in her eyes.

I took her hand and then held it tightly in mine. I had never even planned to do that but it just happened moment before I could realize what I was doing. I wanted to comfort her in any way I could. I couldn't let myself see her crying bitterly again. If I happened to see a drop of tear flowing from her eyes, I would immediately wipe it away. I was so calm, I almost wanted to pull her into my arms and assure her safety.

" Rei... ", I called her name and cupped her chin. " Stop it. ", I could have said other assuring words like 'it's okay', or 'It doesn't matter anyway, the memories were true so why bother thinking about a picture of you and him together', but the only words I blurted out were those two not-so-assuring words. I had never been so foolish of my life.

" Yeah.. I should stop talking about past.. I'm sorry.. I don't know what's gotten into me. You clearly had enough of me babbling about the past ", she pulled away and then began to take a few steps back to distance herself from me. She turned around, facing the counter again and once more I cursed myself for being so stupid. I could hear her sniffed and I chided at myself for making her cry even more.

I just stared at her from behind, attempting to not hold her slim figure again. I regained my courage to talk and this time with carefully arranged words, I spoke.

" No.. I should be the one to apologize.. I'm sorry. For everything. I don't really know what to say. But all I can say is.. maybe it doesn't really matter if you don't have a picture with Yuu. Maybe the memory of you and him is much more important than a picture itself, so why bother listening to me or others? What matters most was you guys have been there for each other long before he deceased.. ", she slowly turned to face me, looking directly into my eyes.

" But next time.. don't think of something like that again. If I was your lover.. I would want to capture every moment with you.. as many as I can afford... so that you wouldn't think about not having any memory painted in photos ever again.. I could promise you that, Rei.. ", It almost felt like I was proposing a relationship with her, but knowing that she couldn't give any result right away, she just stood there, uncertain of what I tried to contemplate just now. She looked down, and then stared at me again with emotions I myself couldn't interpret. I had no idea what she could be thinking back then or what actions she could have done. She played with her fingers and tucked her hair behind her ear, and I saw that she did this out of a habit. Could it be that she was feeling nervous? I cleared my throat when I heard her spoke.

" Kei.. there's something I want to talk about... about last night.. ", her eyes displayed mixed expressions and I knew what of them was uncertainty. I waited with eagerness and wanted to know what she thought about last night. As she approached me closer, I didn't even budge a little, and braced myself for whatever statement she might came up with.

" It never happened, okay? I was emotionally unstabled.. not to mention the way I behaved.. it has been a long time since I've been with a man so I couldn't control myself, and I'm sorry for the way I behaved. I hope you don't get the wrong idea... and hope to continue our friendship like before it happened? I just don't want to get involved with anybody now, especially you. You have been so helpful to both Miku and I, and I'm so grateful for that. I just thought that it wouldn't be fair.. if I had to throw myself at you.. out of my own desires. It's selfish.. so please forgive me for that. " before I could even process her words, she bowed as a sign of apology and was about to leave.

She passed by me, and I was still shocked at her unexpected contemplations. I heard the the sound of a twisiting knob, and turned to see her about to walk out of the room, when I suddenly said. " So, that's it, huh? You're just going to leave me just like that and want me to pretend that there's nothing going on between us? That's bullshit. ", Rei looked startled when she heard me cursed. I became that angry boy again and began to fumble between words. Out of frustration and dissatisfaction.

" You think I went to your room last night just to check on you and then just leave? You think I kissed you because I couldn't control myself? And holding you the whole night just to make sure that you won't be having any more nightmares, simply just to pleasure myself? ", I yelled at her, my voice was increased in volume and to my horror, her startled expression turned to disbelief and then replied. " What do you expect? I don't think you want to spend more time with me if you know I was that fragile and weak. And yes, I don't know what to think when you came to see me in my room, because I scremaed your name, I thought you just did that out of sympathy! What more could I expect from that, Kei? ", she argued.

" I don't want anything unresolved between us.. that's why I needed to clear this out for you that I only used you for my own needs! So if you don't get what I said before, maybe this one will make you understand! I don't need your sympathy, Kei! I am so used to living without anybody beside me after Yuu died, and I don't need you to take care of me! Do you get it? " now she really pissed me off. She stormed out of the red room, and then walked with such speed, when I decided that the argument wasn't finished yet. I walked out of the room and stopped just in front of the tatami room and yelled once more.

" Well, you know what I really think, Rei? I think you're just making excuses because you know how you felt about me! You certainly do! You're just afraid to admit it, that if you feel the same way about me, you're afraid that to face the same consequences again if I left you. You can't afford to lose anybody anymore, and that's why you're pushing me away, Rei! You're afraid! It's easier to make yourself feel like you're sacrificing your feelings for me, but the truth is, you're just being selfish! Because I love you, and even if I'm not equally as good as Yuu you couldn't help but to fall in love with me too... "

" Well, you're damn right about that! You'll never be half of Yuu! So why don't you stop pretending and make both of us a favour and just stop making us work! I don't love you like I loved Yuu and I never will! ", she cut me off before I could even finish what I had been meaning to say. I immediately shut off and then blurted out final words before starting another cold war between us. Her tears had no end. The silver pearls started streaming down and she effortlessly let them fall. Just like she did to me at that time.

" Fine! ", I walked out off her way and then stormed out of the entrance. The last thing I wanted to do at that time was to leave her property immediately and just drive to whatever places I could go to calm myself. I couldn't believe what she just said to me. It was hurtful in so many ways that I was not willing to admit, and I could never thought that words of a woman could scar my ego.

I just drove out of their garage and then drived aimlessly in the streets. Luminescennce began to flood my eyes, but I was too angry to let them fall. I was so sure that she could have felt the same way like I had for her. But it was all my illusions after all. In that afternoon, I thought of the priestess and her lover who died when he came to see her for the last time at the Chamber of Thorns.

I was the lover, coming to Rei's bedroom to see her before she could finally rested.

I was willing to die. Just to see her one more time before she closed her eyes.

And yet I died eventually inside.


End file.
